Title: Doomsday
Director: Neil Marshall
Writer: Neil Marshall
Starring: Rhona Mitra, Bob Hoskins, Malcolm McDowell, David O'Hara
Rating: R

As a fan of low-budget cult horror movies, I've kept writer/director Neil Marshall on my radar since I first saw his military-versus-werewolves film "Dog Soldiers" in 2002. It's not that "Dog Soldiers" blew me away, but what I saw was a creative spark from an emerging talent. I was thinking, "If this is his early work, I can't wait to see his films when he's honed his craft a bit more."

In 2005, Marshall popped up again with his claustrophobic spelunker's horror film "The Descent," which only validated my early impressions of him. With "The Descent," Marshall showed improvement through both his writing and directing. The film was a success, practically guaranteeing a bigger budget for Marshall's next movie, which he described as a love letter to the films that inspired him as a kid, including "Escape from New York" and "The Road Warrior."

The first time I saw footage of Marshall's new film "Doomsday" was at Comic-Con in 2007. Seeing the early footage and hearing Marshall talk about what he wanted to do with "Doomsday" was enough to get me on board. I was officially excited. I even put it as number five in our Top 10 Movies from Comic-Con list. I'm beginning to think that list was a bad idea because every movie from the list so far has been a disappointment (read our reviews of "10,000 B.C.", "Beowulf" and "Cloverfield.")

It saddens me to report that "Doomsday" is a step backwards for Marshall as a filmmaker. It's a film that ultimately suffers when compared to its obvious inspirations and ends up an inconsistent mess.

"Doomsday" is set some 25 years after a movie cliché wiped out most of the population of Scotland, which forced England to wall off the country and leave them all to die. Unfortunately for England, clichés cannot be contained by such simple constructions as high walls, and the "reaper" virus soon rears its head again, only this time on the "safe" side of the wall. In order to destroy the reaper virus and save England, the men in charge opt to send a rag-tag team of expendable soldiers and scientists (another cliché) lead by a woman to Scotland where they've recently discovered a group of reaper survivors.

I keep mentioning the film's use of clichés in a negative context but I was ready for that from the get go. After all "Doomsday" is designed to pay homage to the movies that created these clichés, so you can hardly place blame for their inclusion. No, what bothers me about "Doomsday" is its inability to bring anything new to these classic sci-fi settings and character stereotypes. The film opens with your standard military-slaughters-unarmed-civilians-trapped-behind-a-wall scene then goes straight into an "Aliens" segment where we meet our nameless, faceless good guys who are loaded into an APC and driven into harm's way. It isn't long before our hapless heroes are split into smaller groups communicating through voice channels while creeping through darkened interiors until... Surprise! They're ambushed by hordes of natives who stream from doorways into torrential machine gun fire in seemingly endless waves. Don't get me wrong, I loved "Aliens," too. But there's a difference between an homage and lazy storytelling.

"Doomsday" is almost like a tour of better movies from 25 years ago. We go from "Escape from New York" to "Aliens" and then segue into "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome" before passing through "Excalibur" and right back into "The Road Warrior" for the big finish. It looks like a roadmap to a kick-ass action movie but it ends up being a clumsy and lackluster retread of the best scenes from better films and a highlight reel from the past made by imitators.

The star of "Doomsday" is Rhona Mitra, who is an absolutely beautiful woman with an incredible body. She has a smoldering, sultry energy that when mixed with her exotic features makes her photograph incredibly well. The problem here is that she doesn't do "action hero" very well. She's perfectly capable of all the running, shooting, punching and kicking but her facial expressions never convince me that she's actually in danger. She always looks either completely bored by what's happening or at least not very concerned. And if she isn't concerned why should I be?

Compare these two pictures of women holding guns. One of them looks interested in shooting someone while the other looks interested in taking a nap.

Rhona Mitra from "Doomsday."

Angelina Jolie from the upcoming comic-adaptation "Wanted."

I want to worry about my action heroes. I want to see them grit their teeth and wince in pain. I want to see them broken down and beaten so they can summon whatever it is that makes them heroes and overcome their obstacles. Indiana Jones is a great example of this. He doesn't stroll through danger with a smug look on his face. Instead, he careens through it wildly looking like he's about to wet his pants. He's constantly in over his head but able to rely on his wits and luck to keep him alive.

"Doomsday" promised a thrilling car chase as the finale but I was sorely disappointed. There's an art to car chases and not everyone has the eye for it. My problems with the car chase start with the lead car, which is a Bentley. A Bentley? When I think of hot rod post-apocalyptic car chases they never include a shiny new Bentley. They include muscle cars with ridiculous superchargers painted in flat colors and sporting armor, guns, spikes or skulls; not luxurious leather seats. The ultimate failing of the chase is that most of the action takes place inside the Bentley rather than utilizing the other vehicles to their fullest. The cars feel slow; the action is badly staged and it just isn't exciting. How do you screw up a "Road Warrior" car chase? Ask Neil Marshall.

"Doomsday" written and directed by Neil Marshall.

I was really pulling for "Doomsday." I wanted to walk out of it grinning ear to ear singing its praises. Early on I tried to convince the doubters who weren't sucked in by the trailer that it would capture what we loved about the sci-fi classics of yesteryear. Friends of mine and my wife scoffed and hissed. I believe my wife's immediate response to the trailer was, "Wow, that looks absolutely terrible," but I held on steadfast. "Doomsday" isn't terrible, but by falling so short of its goal it's almost not worth seeing. Your time might be better spent re-watching the films from which it takes its cues.

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