#6: MTV Buys Guitar Hero Developer

I don't want to trash MTV completely - I actually think the network's strategy to embrace gaming is a good one for parent company Viacom. It's just that, well, MTV died a long time ago for me. It used to be the epitome of cool, and now the channel has been reduced to a bunch of has-been pop stars doing reality TV and incredibly bad game shows. I ranted about this not too long ago (see Is MTV's Gaming Effort a Sign of the Apocalypse? for more) after watching nothing but MTV for a full day, which was a torturous ordeal. The programming is possibly beyond saving at this point because the network has decided to focus on a young and largely female demographic that feeds on silly boy bands and other hackneyed pop acts.

So what type of gaming content might MTV produce? It's a question that needs to be asked because the network is clearly transforming itself into a major player in the games industry. Viacom and its subsidiary MTV Networks this year acquired Atom Entertainment (which boasts AddictingGames.com and Shockwave.com gaming sites) as well as Xfire, the popular online gaming communication application, which has more than five million registered users. Now MTV has acquired Harmonix, the developer behind the critically acclaimed hit title Guitar Hero. The $175-million deal shows just how serious MTV is about creating its own full-length game content. I'm still not sold on the idea that an organization as big and diverse as MTV can produce quality gaming content that isn't poisoned or negatively influenced by its utterly-disastrous television content. If the producers at MTV are so shallow that they force shows like "My Super Sweet 16" and "Pimp My Ride" down the throats of America's youth, then what's to stop them and the great minds at Viacom from inundating us with wretched games? After all, it looks more and more like the majority of developers will be bought up by the big publishers and other larger corporate entities - and MTV wants to be there. Cue the rider on a red horse with a big sword.

View Video Game Apocalypse Slide Show!

#5: Uwe Boll Continues Making Video Game Movies

Ugh. German filmmaker Uwe Boll (pronounced "ooh-vay ball") has been on a tear recently, directing the video game adaptation "House of the Dead," "Alone in the Dark" and "BloodRayne." All three movies were atrocious box office bombs, assaulted by critics and moviegoers alike. But if you think that's bad, well, wait to you get a load of this: Boll is working on not one or two but three video game movies! First, there's "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale" based on the Dungeon Siege RPG series, starring Jason Statham and Burt Reynolds. And Boll is also making a "Far Cry" movie. Then there's "Postal," based on the controversial ultra-violent massacre PC game, starring Gary Coleman and Verne Troyer. I'm not making this up.

Okay, so Boll's films are terrible. Why does this matter for gaming, you ask? Well, there are a few reasons, which I outlined in a column earlier this year. First, these horrendous movies give video games a bad name, and the last thing gaming needs is more bad PR. You can just picture an upcoming Senate Committee hearing with Sen. Sam Brownback trotting out movie clips of "BloodRayne" to support his case: "Well, we don't have actual footage of the games, per se, but we do have some film here of the movie adaptations, and this clearly is a threat to American values." It's guilt by association, I suppose.

Another thing to consider is that games are heavily influenced by movies, and with the growing synergy between movies and games, it's possible that Boll's crap might begin to influence and infect game development. And finally, if Hollywood and Germany ever wise up and cut off his funding for movies, where do you think he'll go next? The video game industry! And frankly, I'm worried because Boll isn't just crazy - he's strong, too. Recently, Boll issued a "put up or shut up" challenge to his critics, where the director invited five of his harshest critics to fight him in a 10-round boxing match. The event, dubbed "Raging Boll," led to Boll, who has over 30 years of experience as an amateur boxer, kicking the snot out all of his challengers. In fact, Boll left one critic, Jeff Snieder of Ain't It Cool News, beaten so badly that he was puking his guts out and breathing from an oxygen mask while paramedics tended to him. I can just picture the day when Boll shows up at Tom's Hardware Guide's office with a samurai sword - riding a black horse while carrying two scales, no less - and does a Beatrix Kiddo on all of us.

Links: Boll kicks the crap out of Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka of SomthingAwful.com here.